I don’t know whether to celebrate or cry right now.
I’m relieved that it’s over, but I’m sad in equal measure.
It’s been so hard. And yet it hasn’t.
For the most part, this rare, slow time with the kids at home has been a gift – and I know that it’ll probably never come again.
I’m glad that I don’t have to carry the weight of responsibility of teaching these young boys any longer, but I’ve loved being so involved in their learning. I’m incredibly proud of how they’ve adapted and how much they’ve grown.
I’m going to miss them ‘needing’ me, but I’m so looking forward to going to the bathroom again on my own without being followed in (seriously – was this just me or did everyone else’s kids always get stuck on a maths problem whenever you went to the loo?)
I’ve despaired at the never-ending piles of mess they’ve created, at them interrupting my zoom meetings mid-interview, and at watching them eat us out of house and home.
But boy I’m going to miss them – their noise, their craziness, their fun and their hourly doses of love.
I’ve cherished getting to know my kids – I mean really taking the time to stop and understand them. And I think they’ve come to know me on a whole new level too.
The conversations we’ve shared in these strange times would never have surfaced if not for this period of isolation and remote learning. And for that alone I am so thankful.
I’m grateful that I freelance from home because I haven’t had to manage the logistical nightmare that so many others have faced in juggling their kids with outside employment. But in the same breath, I’ve cursed that I work from home because it’s been an impossible juggle that has taken me right to the edge – and at times I’ve been so desperate for an escape.
Not for one second do I take for granted the fact that my experience has been a privileged one. Tears spring to my eyes at the mere thought of what life has been like, and continues to be like, for so many others around the world (and even right here in my own community) who are not in the fortunate position that we are.
But I figure I have two choices. I can either reflect on this time and our personal experience as a negative one, or a positive one.
I think you know which way I’m leaning.
Now somebody pour me a drink!